Before
you can connect with your partner, we need you to connect with yourself. The
purpose of this exercise is to prepare you to hold your partner in your dance
embrace. You’ll find that this exercise will help you to connect your arms to
your spine and torso such that your entire upper body operates as one unit.
This
is an EXTREMELY valuable exercise that will prepare you to dance in partnership.
It’s also additional practice for your balance and control.
Find
a wall. This time face the wall and
stand about a 12-18” away. You
want to be just far enough away that you can reach the wall with your elbows
still slightly bent.
Now,
lean against the wall with all your body weight. Let your arms bend like you are doing a push-up against the
wall. Then push yourself away.
Try that a couple of times to see how it feels.
Got
it? Good.
Now
you are going to do the same thing, but on a smaller scale.
Lean into the wall only about an inch, so you still feel your balance,
but your weight has moved over the balls of your feet.
You’ll be supported most of your own weight and putting just a little
pressure on the wall.
The
goal is to feel connected to the wall, without leaning on it completely.
This is a good way to feel the muscles that you’ll be using, and to get
a sense of the isometric tension in those muscles when you are actually dancing.
You’ll mostly be using your pectorals and lats (i.e., the emphasis is on your
chest and upper back, more than your shoulders and arms.)
Practice
pulling your shoulders slightly down and back as you shift your weight and
balance to lean gently into the wall. That shoulder position will help you stay
connected to your own body while you connect to your partner.
Now,
move away from the wall. Pull your
shoulders down, pull your belly in, and stand up straight. Make a circle with
your arms at chest height. Press the back of one hand firmly but gently into the
palm of the other. At this point, it will look as if you’re hugging a beach
ball. In fact, that’s just about what the man should feel, he’s drawing the
ball gently inward; for her part, the woman is gently expanding the ball. (Yes,
the man’s the rubber of the ball, and the woman’s the air!)
Each
of you is creating your own circle of energy, and later, when you connect your
circle with your partner’s you’ll create a balanced, single entity that is
greater than either partner on his or her own. That’s a great metaphor for
your whole marriage!
Back
to your circle! Keep your head up and look slightly to the left.
Imagine your chin is just towards your left collarbone. This is true for the woman and the man.
All
of these exercises work for both of you
When
you hold your body this way, you are creating your personal “dance frame” or
“dance space.” When you feel
your frame is secure, walk around holding your frame and soften your knees
slightly. You’ll notice that your
movement glides a bit more when you do this.
Simply
soften your knees and walk gracefully around the room, without bouncing.
With your frame strong and your knees soft, practice taking one step at a
time and balancing there before you take the next step.
When you walk, don’t lift your feet—our goal here is more of a
sliding step. Your weight should be all on one foot, but the other foot should
always remain in contact with the floor.
Really
work on feeling that you take one step at a time moving from balance to balance.
And pay attention to breathing, too.
When you hold your breath you look and feel tense, so be sure to breath
deeply and regularly as you practice.
Have
you ever heard the expression: “Conceive
it, believe it, achieve it”? It’s
the mantra of athletes, politicians, and all sorts of success-minded people.
And it’s a concept that can help you, too.
To
get yourself into ‘the zone’ when you’re practicing, it’s a good idea to
use visualization and affirmation techniques.
Create a mental picture of yourself looking elegant and relaxed moving
across the floor at your wedding. Say
silently to yourself, ‘I am moving with grace and poise.”