First
things first. In the words of Billy
Crystal as Fernando Lamas, “It’s not how you feel, it’s how you look.”
And with the help of this article, darling “you’ll look mahvelous!”
The
primary goal of First Dance Fabulous is to help you feel good about moving
around the dance floor. But the
beauty of what you’re about to learn here in Lesson #1 is that it will help
you look good everywhere else, too.
In
a good marriage, both partners are able to stand independently on their own two
feet. You lean on each other, and
support each other, but ultimately, you’re each responsible for yourself.
Before
you ever start dancing together, you
want to make sure you can move somewhat gracefully and with some control on your
own.
There’s
big idea here: Integrated Movement. Our goal is for the two of you to
move as one. That can’t happen until each one of you is moving as one.
This is not the gym, where you exercise your arms one day and your legs the
next. Your body is integrated.
A
good way to get started with this exercise is to stand with your back against a
wall. See how long you can get your spine while pressing as much of your back
and the back of your head against the wall. Visualize your spine getting very
long and tall.
Feel
your feet on the floor while you stretch long through your spine.
Do
not look at your feet or the floor! When
you and your partner are dancing, you’ll want to look into each other’s
eyes, not at each others shoes!
It’s
important that whenever you’re practicing that you make every effort to keep
your head up and your gaze focused at eye level.
Remember
to breathe! You should take slightly deeper breaths than normal. I like to
imagine that I’m breathing from the base of my spine all the way to the top of
my head. There’s more on this in the videos, but for now, really inhale (think
“expanding”) and exhale (contracting, but keeping that spine nice and long.)
The
great thing about this exercise is that you can practice anywhere and any time.
That’s a key to really learning good posture: practice in any little moment
over the course of your day. You don’t have to get all dramatic, like Richard
Gere in “Shall We Dance?” (He
practiced his steps while waiting for a train.) But you could, for example
practice in the elevator, or standing in line at the bank.
So
far, we’ve focused on your spine and torso. Now, let’s think about legs.
Stand with your feet shoulder width apart. It is important, as you dance, that
your feet are parallel. Your toes should point straight ahead (it’s OK to look
down to check this right now.)
Since
almost everyone’s feet naturally point out a bit, this is what you need to do
to get your feet to point straight: you rotate your thighs slightly inward. Hold
your belly in and strengthen the muscles in your legs, particularly your inner
thighs.
Feel
your feet on the floor. No, really! Obviously you know that your feet are on the
floor, but it’s important to really feel where your weight is being
transferred. Move your weight from one foot to the other, and from the back of
your foot to the front. In general, you want to carry your weight towards the
inside of the front of your foot.
Next,
stand as if you are going trying to press the floor away from you with your
feet.
Notice
when you do this how it
affects
the rest of your body.
When
you strengthen your leg muscles, notice how that feeling connects into your
belly.
Now,
keeping all that going on in your belly, legs and feet and at the same time pull
your shoulders down.
Notice
that your body feels completely different now -- more alive and strong.
Doing all of these actions at once creates the feeling of integration so
when you take a step, all of you goes to it rather than your head going forward
and your butt staying back or vice versa.
Once
you’ve captured that feeling and can maintain it, walk around the room.
Walk
slowly and pay attention to keeping your head up while you still feel your feet
on the floor. This may feel a
little odd to you at first, but that’s only natural. After all, you’ve been
standing and walking a different way all your life. What you’ll find is that
you look great and in short order, it will feel completely natural to move with
your new, confident stance.
These
preliminary exercises will make the bride look like the belle of the ball and
the groom look like the man of the hour! This
is stuff that most dance videos don’t cover and it’s the foundation of
looking like a dancer.
These
exercises are meant to help you get accustomed to how your body feels when you
are in your dance embrace. By
holding your body, and walking this way, you feel strong, long and elegant.
You’ll begin to move this way naturally. In your wedding dance, you’ll look
gorgeous and fabulous. And what’s
more…those feelings won’t stop when the song ends.
Feeling
tall, powerful, and connected from head to toe will give you more confidence on
the inside as well as an air of self-assuredness on the outside.
Your new “dancer’s posture” will positively change the way the
world sees you.
This
is the juice, baby! It’s the most rewarding side benefit to being a dancer.
Good
posture is to the body what poise is to the mind. Poise is grace under fire,
it’s composure, and it’s the ability to stay calm and collected in, say, a
situation like your first dance.
So
how do you get it? Start by faking it ‘til you make it! Act as if you’re
already the elegant, graceful, confident dancer that you want to be.
Dancing
is mental as well as physical, and the mental game is every bit as important.
Your thoughts are very important when learning. Where you put your focus will
affect your entire experience—especially the end result.